There's no right answer when it comes to people. I've realized that today.
Most of the time I want to do what is right, I want to do what is right by other people and I want as many people as possible to be happy with me. I relate to the character in The Recruit only because I am like him... eager to please.
Being this way, I get really frustrated at times. Sometimes people just don't want to be pleased. Sometimes there is no right answer and no right response.
I don't really feel like deciding, right now, to live my life trying to pursue my own happiness and trying to meet my own selfish desires. I'd like to be a positive force in the lives of others, but I've gotta realize that I will meet frustration along the way. I'd like to live a life that makes God happy, because making myself happy is fleeting, making others happy is fruitless and impossible, and nearly all accomplishments are short lived.
Sometimes losing is the only way to win.
I guess I really should give up on trying to have smooth, pleasant relationships with people, and at the same time give up on trying to change anyone but my self. Jesus taught humility, and asks us to follow Him. Islam means submission. Buddhism, to me, is about submitting your identity and your self completely for enlightenment. Confucius said, "Do not be concerned about others not appreciating you. Be concerned about your failure to appreciate others."
I'd like to be able to give up my self, not concern myself with matters relating to me and submit completely, but I do not know if I will succeed in all of this.
I suppose this all sounds very depressing, but it doesn't have to be that way. I think of this as inspiring in a way. Hopefully, I will finally have a path that I feel comfortable with (Once again I realize that I am wanting the "right" path. I need to realize that I can choose a path that is right, but not necessarily the "right" path. Path righteousness is not definitive nor is it singular.)
I don't feel that I decide that the path I am leading is right, but I do decide which path is right for me.