Today I had planned to go to Langston, Alabama to sell books. I did go there. The morning started out reasonably well, but when I finally got into town I noticed that it was incredibly small, which is saying something because I am working only small towns. This town's population was listed as 200-something on the sign that I dorve by entering into the town.
This town had no gas station, store, or any other commercial building of any sort. There was no school. There were five residences with children in them. I visited them. Soemone was home at only one of them. I heard that both parents of another were deaf. I decided to just map the town and talk to as many people as I could catch to make sure that the town was just a retirement community on the Tennessee river. I left the town using a road I hadn't been on yet. It took me into Section, Alabama, which was the area I had worked the past two days.
Now, that was pretty long and boring. The point is to record what I did and to explain why I am back at my HQ -- something that I am never supposed to do. I am here because I have to go on to a new part of my territory. I didn't have a map for it in my car though, and I prefer to use the maps that I get offline. So, now I am at my HQ, and I am blogging, which is another bad thing because I should be working.
I care. I don't care.
I don't like this job much at all. It is fascinating and boring all at once. It is rewarding and taxing at the same time. I am not really the type of person that is a salesperson, which is exactly why I am doing this. So, I decided that because I cannot quit (the company would let me, but I won't and my Dad won't) I will try my best to use this opportunity to develop my discipline.
It seems as if right now I am failing miserably. Yesterday I did really well though. I did reasonably well in terms of sales (my personal best day) and really well in terms of discipline (I didn't call Joy. I stayed in the game. I worked hard.)
Today I don't have enough sleep. I am unfocused. I confused myself with a bad territory that was too small to begin with. I had thought that it would be a populated town so I went smaller. Now I am back at the HQ. I have my application for graduate school. It just arrived today. I have the opportunity to fill it out and be done with it so I don't have to worry about it anymore this summer. I can do that now. That is discipline, but it is also not, because it is taking time out of work.
I have decided that it is OK though, because it is something that needs to get done for the rest of my life and one part of a day off from work with SW isn't necessarily a big deal. What is a big deal is the fact that I lost discipline. That hurts.
Please pray that I be disciplined the rest of this summer. It is insanely hard for me to stay focused and disciplined so I need all the prayer I can get.
Let me know what y'all think too.
I'll definitely be praying for you. But what a great opportunity to be forced to learn discipline. I was reading through proverbs today and there is so much about the godly man being disciplined and having wisdom. Look at it this way, you were fortunate enough to have the opportunity to learn discipline and diligence now rather than after you are married and have to take care of a family.
Posted by: Jessica at May 22, 2004 07:39 AMDang, it sounds like that job is beating the crap out of you. Hang in there, man. You've got the capability to make it, so keep working at it.
Posted by: Luke B at May 22, 2004 08:05 PM