How do you know that this person is right for you?
You don't. You never will. There is too much in this world that is outside of your control, and only one thing that you can control -- yourself. The only way to really know that someone is "right" for you is to make a decision... a choice. Choose, daily, to be the right person for another person, choose that person as the right person for you.
That's when you'll know, because you have decided, and you daily make it so.
Excellent Blog entry. I wouldn't have agreed with that statement all that long ago, but I have indeed changed my toon about the concept of there existing "just one" person made for me. Although I must also point out that perhaps there are some people with certain qualities that would even make the most dedicated and loyal person have a hard time sustaining and energizing the relationships. All the same, it all boils down to work...when love is simply an unconscious, automatic feeling, it is far inferior to the type of love the you work at.
Posted by: Jenn at December 10, 2004 10:14 AMI disagree, I don't think that you can even control yourself :-). I think we may each try to control ourselves, but it seems our (humanity's) success is somewhat lacking.
Posted by: Nate at December 12, 2004 05:35 PMIf you don't believe that you can control yourself then you're following a dangerous road down to not being responsible for your actions.
You can control yourself. Your spirit has more power than your flesh. Yet you make the choice whether you will allow your flesh to reign or your spirit to reign. Remember romans 6-8
Posted by: Jessica at December 13, 2004 01:35 PMWow, I finally have a little discussion going on again. It's been about a year since this has happened. It's really nice. I am worried though, that when I am done addressing these new thoughts that I might end up ending the discussion. I guess that is just pride talking though, because the discussion can always continue so long as there are disagreements, and/or other additions and distinctions to be made.
Jenn -- I agree with what you've had to say. I think that the way I'd incorporate your ideas into my general belief-system is to add that it is wiser to choose someone who will facilitate a relationship whenever you are choosing a partner.
I think that we all always make these choices. When we have a crush on someone, when the love is unrequited, when it is a mutual friendship that grows into something more, or just a jolting sexual interest that we entertain, act on, and develop into something more. All these examples and any others would show that we are, at some level, choosing who.
Nate and Jessica -- You're statement/arguements are very interesting. Both of these points of view are deep philosophical issues that have spurned countless discuessions and conflicts throughout time. I understand and agree with both of you. Nate's point can clearly be seen in Romans 7:15,17-21,24 and in everyday experience. However, when you read all of Romans as a whole or even just the sixth through the eighth chapters you will get the idea that you still need to recognize and believe that you have self control. You will always be held accountable for your actions under the belief that you can control yourself, but at the very same time you will always struggle with your human nature to sin, and it will feel as if you have no real control over yourself.
Finally, I think that you can say that both sides of this argument are correct. Nate, you're right, you can't control yourself. However, with the daily prayers that you lift up to God and through His divine intervention you might achieve an ever growing level of self control. Jessica, you are obviously right too. It is dangerous to act based on the belief that people cannot control of themselves. That leads to innumberable misconceptions about human nature and can ultimately lead to a resignation and surrender to sin. Also, you are right to say that our gift of God's Spirit does give us power over our flesh. Our flesh, our minds, and our souls alone can never accomplish the law or even self control, but by God's intervention we can.
Posted by: David at December 13, 2004 03:48 PMDavid -
You seem to have prophesied correctly. All the discussion stopped after your post... until now! I've been struggling with this self control issue myself lately, as you know. And my soul has definitely been suffering because of it. That place of resignation and surrender leaves a soul in despair. This constant battle to stay by God's side seems overwhelming at times. I've been missing the fellowship with the girls in Gainesville and with you. For anyone who's listening, I'd really appreciate some encouragement from my fellow believers.
I agree with David's statement; here's some cool Augustinian Theology that I think goes along with this discussion:
Pre-fall man
Posse peccare, posse non peccare
The pre-fallen man is able to sin and able not to sin
Post-fall man
Non posse non peccare
The fallen man is not able not to sin
Reborn man
Posse non peccare
The reborn man is able not to sin
Glorified man
Non posse peccare
The glorified man (in Heaven) is unable to sin
I pulled the basics of this from my pastor and then I looked it up on this webpage:
http://www.monergism.com/thethreshold/articles/onsite/four-fold.html
It's something that's been on my mind for a while (I vaguely remembered it from middle school) and I've just recently gotten a chance to talk to my pastor about it, I liked the cool phrasing of it and I thought you guys might also like it.
Posted by: Nate at January 2, 2005 11:14 PM