Today on my way home from Seminary it was just starting to rain, and as I was driving I saw one of these walls of rain that I always love seeing. (The problem with them is that you can't really see them when you are in them. So, when I saw it I felt like stopping my car in the middle of the road (a trick I learned from Southwestern) and watching the rain for a while.
The coolest part of this whole experience was watching it get closer to me and then move away again for a while. After a while I noticed through my rearview that it was raining behind me too. In fact, it was raining all around me, but not on me. That was so cool. It kinda made me feel special.
Finally a car came up behind me and then it started to rain on me too, so I decided to get going again. Still, a pretty cool experience all in all.
After a summer with Southwestern I lost nearly 20 lbs, but I think that a good deal of that is probably muscle, because I had absolutely no time to work out, and even if I did I was so sleep deprived the entire summer that it is unlikely that I'd actually get stronger.
So, it is back to the grind. I am going to start using my fitness log again and I am starting by running around my neighborhood and doing some pushups. When I get back to Oviedo I should have funds in my Bank Account so I'll buy a key to the weight room and get started on that too.
I like it when I can get a jump on things, and this year I am going to go ahead and do that by getting a running start on my New Year's resolutions. I think that by starting to work on these babies right at the start of September I'll have a few of them accomplished, which should give me enough momentum to power my way through the rest of them when January rolls around. Also, I know that my Mom will get a kick out of hearing that I am already done with half of my resolutions for 2005 right as 2005 starts.
So, here they are... please try to keep me accountable to them if you can remember to do so. Thanks!
1. Good Schedule
Having a good schedule is one of the most important things in my life. This is the biggest positive impact that my Southwestern experience had on me. The Good Schedule is foundational. It leads to requiring less day by day, minute by minute discipline after the schedule is formed, and if well planned a good schedule will set you up for successfully reaching goals that you set when you decide your schedule.
This schedule will consist of the following items.
--Sleeping at consistent times = a good sleep schedule.
--Praying regularly, but not out of habit or ritual. This should be tricky.
--Working out.
--Reading daily... several times a day. Inspirational reading in the morning, homework reading throughout the day and in the evening.
--Studying daily, but not on my day off.
--Writing daily
--Blogging 15 times a month.
--Cooking and Cleaning daily.
--Fellowship!
--One day off every week.
2. Goal Setting
Goal setting is probably the second biggest impact that Southwestern and listening to Bill Hybel's Couragous Leadership during my SW experience
has had on me. I don't want Southwestern to take all the credit for this though, because I had started to get the picture long before I had even left for the program.
About this time last year I was persistantly explaining the idea of investing to Joy in the hopes of selling her on the idea of starting a Scottrade account and investing some of her hard earned money. It paid off, and when it did I set a rather audacious goal for both of us. She invested $4,050 and I had just over two grand. I wanted to have the $4,272 that I started college with by the time I graduated, which amounted to almost a clean double of what I had last September. So, I told Joy that I had a plan for doubling our money in one year. I asked if she wanted to be on board for that plan with her money and with her prayers. She was hesitant at first, but after successful first few months she was completely sold. We were ahead of our goals before December in a mediocre economy!
To wrap this story up... It is now the end of August. Joy's $4050 is looking more like $8,563.39. My mere two grand is now $4,611.76, and now my mom is setting up an account with Scottrade with $4,500 for me to manage for her. This is why I am going to be working on setting goals for 2005. I know that I could not have done this well in the stock market if I had not set audacious goals for Joy and I, and if we had not been praying about meeting our goals.
This goal setting goal will consist of the following focus points.
Setting yearly goals (like this one.)
Setting Monthly goals at the begining of every month.
Setting Weekly goals before or immediately after my day off.
Setting Daily goals when I wake up in the morning.
3. Positive Attitude
Whoa, this is also something that Southwestern was relentlessly trying to drill into all who entered its summer of hell. Weird. I guess some of this brainwashing has worked on me after all.
Anyway, I desperately need to have a more positive attitude. In the last few days I've been spending a lot of time reading and I have been hit from some of the most disparate sources about the importance of a positive attitude. Then I realized that I am on again off again with my attitude. I need to be perpetually optimistic and positive! OK, that is a joke, but I would like to get to the point where I am able to whether most of the storms that life throws at me better than I do now.
4. Straight A's
In the past I would have this as a New Year's resolution after a first semester of rather crumby grades. This year I can't do that because I was accepted into seminary on academic probation, because I didnt' meet their grade requirements. So, I have to have two stellar semesters back to back to find my way out of probation. Craziness! Usually I wait until I've been in a school for a while to get into academic probation. Talk about starting early with things!
I drove from Orlando to Fort Myers early this evening, which was pretty much back tracking against Hurricane Charley's path. My whole trip home was full of sights of the messes and damage that this hurricane caused.
Along I-4 there were green Interstate signs completely ripped out of the ground. Before I even got that far there were oaks that were blown over all along the road from my apartment to the toll expressways.
Along I-75 I saw more out of state volunteers from a power company based in Indiana. They were actually headed south and got off at the same exit in Fort Myers where I exited.
Before I got that far down south I needed to fill up my tank with gas. I ended up stopping at Port Charlotte, which was actually purely coincidental. That exit was totally messed up. One gas station there wasn't even in business at the time, because it was ravaged so badly. The gas station I stopped at was so new that I was left wondering if some of it had been put in after the hurricane -- not likely. So I was impressed that the nice, new gas station was left untouched while the older one was nearly destroyed. One thing that I found somewhat funny was some of the graffitti on the wall in the bathroom. Someone had already taken the time to scribble "Fuck You Charley" on the bathroom wall.
Getting back to my neighborhood was a shock. This huge tree that is just past the entrance in the neighborhood was still standing, but completely raped of almost all of its limbs. I remembered playing on that tree when it was much shorter. As I kept driving around the circle I saw all of the debris that was gathered up and waiting to be taken away and all the debris that still needed to be picked up. I have never seen my neighborhood looking so bad. I am guessing that is why there is a brand new digital camera sitting here at my mom's desk. She isn't a camera user, but I think this storm's aftermath must have changed that.
The strangest thing about this scene was driving up to my house. I had complete faith while in Alabama and afterwards that my house would be untouched by any storm that came through. Category 4 meant nothing to me -- I know my house. Well, my yard was practically clean looking at first. There was one downed slash palm, and one (ONE!) of my mom's more than 150 pots was broken. Everything else was either untouched or already cleaned up. I strongly doubt the latter explanation though, because my dad is 73 and does choose to work four days a week still. Also, my parents didn't get home until a week after the storm.
My house went unscathed. No roof damage; no damage to anything. It is shocking when you look at EVERY OTHER HOUSE in the neighborhood. Well, I guess my dad will have to buy a new halogen light, my mom will have to get a new pot, and someone will have to cut up and haul away that pine tree, but other than that I was pretty much right to not worry about the house.
Weird.
Well, I am in Orlando pretty much alone. My roommate is actually here with me now and his Dad is with him too. He is 40 years old and kinda quirky. Today we talked about apartment related things and I got to hear about some things that he'd like to see happen with the apartment. I hadn't unpacked all of my kitchen stuff (eight boxes of stuff) yet because I was wondering what he wanted me to do about all of that.
Well, I found out that I'll be taking three boxes full of stuff back to Fort Myers to let it sit in my closet. I also found out that the guy doesn't really use his dishwasher for anything more than a drying rack that closes. I don't think he really wants me to use it for what it was made for either. In fact, he is living up to his neat freak manner pretty quickly. He wants me to do all my dishes right after I use them and just put them back on the shelf. This isn't all that unreasonable, and actually makes a ton of sense for his lifestyle. He has about two to four plates, bowls, knives, forks, and coffee cups so doing it this way means that he really only needs one or two of each item.
This isn't really a big deal, but I realized now that I am likely to be living a completely different lifestyle than the one that I have lived since I was a kid. Now I won't ever be cooking for anyone but myself, because I live in a rather small apartment with a guy who doesn't really eat in his apartment either.
So, that added to the number of boxes that I need to take back to Fort Myers with me. This is kinda stressing me out a bit, which is really silliness because everything will certainly fit in the Pacifica. I guess the real worry is taking all my stuff to Fort Myers with the knowledge that my parents have strangers living in my room all of the time and knowing that they might want to sell the house at any time.
I also really wish I could talk to someone that I know, but I lost my cell phone a few days ago. I'd like to just go ahead and get another one and start collecting phone numbers again, but my mother and older brother want to switch cell phone plans which can't happen until after September starts up.
I guess I am emotional because I keep letting these small things impede my progress. I am frustrated also by how amazingly huge my bathroom is, because everything else -- like the kitchen especially -- is small. My biggest frustration is trying to fit everything that I used in a four bedroom house into a two bedroom apartment. I simply won't be needing, wanting or even using some of my stuff. Things like video games and board games that I can't imagine myself playing alone. There are also things that I have that are really Joy's in a way. I had been holding on those things for her because she was living in an apartment style dorm and didn't have room for all of her stuff.
This reminds me of Fight Club. My stuff is essentially owning me in this situation. I'd love to just get rid of it. I just want to do that in a semi-responsible way. Also, I am pained because much of this was given to me to help me out through college and beyond (meaning marriage.)
I guess I am also stressed because I keep hearing on the radio that all the major roads leading out of the city in the direction that I am headed are very backed up due to five different car accidents -- two of them are even on the same road!
I really have mental and emotional issues when it comes to packing, moving, and changing around my life situation. When I am happy to be leaving I pack super sloppily, become careless and leave a lot behind because I just want to get away. When I am trying to be efficient I become incredibly inefficient because I want to think too much and often get frustrated when things aren't fitting well. All of these things smack of personal weakness, which is humbling and frustrating on multiple levels. I hate having weaknesses because they are so frowned upon and often unaccptable, which plays into another possible weakness of mine -- my constant desire to be accepted. I guess that is more of a universal quality that we all have to a certain degree, which is not inherently a strength or a weakness. Still, my desire to be accepted makes stands center-stage when I realize that I am dealing with something about myself that is a character flaw, a bit of immaturity or a weakness of some other type.
Whoa, my mind is racing. I am exhausted, and I don't know why. Perhaps these are Southwestern after-effects. It has been so long since I have had some real time with friends in a stable environment. I'd like to get back into that. Visiting people is cool, but it isn't stability. It is a vacation that feels like fantasy... like I'm not really living life, but just taking a break from things that are too hard.
UPDATE:
I think I may have figured out what might have played into all this emotional stuff. I have pretty much been sitting on my butt this whole week, which is a stark contrast from what I had been doing all summer long. As soon as I started taking boxes down to the car and then went running up three flights of stairs I was feeling much better. I think I just need to keep working out.
This seems to be a pattern with me. I get moody whenever I stop doing physical work after having consistantly exerted myself for a several weeks. I really have to remember this beforehand next time.
I have no Internet in my apartment right now, and I decided a fwe days ago that it might be good for me (beyond financially) for me to not have Internet in my apartment to save me time.
Now I am starting to feel a little different about that. I am so information starved it takes me more time to make simple decisions that I'd make in just a fwe moments with the Internet. Also, I don't know anything about the area this area yet so I am almost always wishing I had Internet access to look up different stores and get directions to them. Finally, now that I have approval from my parents about getting a job I am wanting to conduct a job search which is fairly difficult with such limited access to information.
The most frustrating thing about all of this is that Internet comes in really handy when you want to shop around for things like Internet. Luckily the library here at RTS is open until 10PM Monday through Thursday. Unfortunately it closes much earlier than that Friday and Saturday and is completely closed on Sunday.
Well, today I went in to register for classes. The whole process aws completely different from registration at UF. Instead of doing it all online, registration takes place online and in person. First there is the online "preregistration" and then we actually have to show up at the Fellowship Hall and pay for classes, sign up for things, get voter regitration forms, be solicited by banks, local businesses and non-profit organizations, and then we pay for our tuition or finalize financial aid arrangements. That actually didnt even take fifteen minutes. Afterward I went to the bookstore. I wrote down the title, author and ISBN of every required book and then bounced to the library to see which ones I could get cheaper online. Then I went back to the bookstore and bought the ones that were cheaper (or the same price) at the bookstore. All the while I was eating Donato's pizza! Yum.
Afterthought: My books for this first semester cost me nearly $320, which isn't so terrible for five classes. $320 for 20 books and a class CD isn't so bad, but it is still a big hit to the finances.
This morning I jumped out of bed, showered, packed my stuff up and headed to Oveido in my second U-Haul for the week. On my way I saw a number of fleets of power trucks from all across the country headed North on I-75 and the Florida Turnpike. I could read the comapny names on most of them, and one fleet even had their state name on it -- they were all the way from Michigan!
Now I am here at my new apartment, but I don't have my paperwork completed, because I was so busy with Southwestern. So, I have been waiting on my parents. They should be here in about a half an hour. Once they get here and co-sign for me then I should be set to move in, which might not be much fun with my parents around to watch.
There are some cool things about my apartment and some not so cool things. One thing that is cool is that there are two computers with Internet access in the lobby -- so now I have something to do. Unfortunately, the apartments come with free cable, but no Internet. That is exactly the opposite of how I'd want it. I think that I will try to go without Internet for a little while though and see if I can manage to just use the free Internet down here and on campus. If that doesn't work out so well then I guess I'll just have to order Internet service or hold out until the end of my agreement and then move.
The apartment complex is actually pretty small. It is a Paradigm Property, which feels familiar from my time in Gainesville. It has amenities, of course, but they seem to be few and far betwee -- mostly things that I don't really want and won't use. They have a tennis court, a small swimming pool, and this common area, which I guess I'll be using when it is open. They do not have a free gym or free Internet -- the two amenities that I would use. Who knows though? I might use the pool.
The lack of Internet could end up being a positive thing if it means that I'll spend less time on the computer using the Internet. I am afraid that I might continue the habit of watching TV that I've picked up this summer -- especially with the Olympics on right now and football season coming up. For some reason I never counted watching football as watching TV though.
Blah Blah Blah... I'm obviously writing out of boredom right now. On to the next topic...
I've been thinking about blogging and interpersonal relationships for a while now. During our summer with Southwestern almost everyone quickly learns that people like to talk about themselves, the people in their lives and the things that they have seen, done and heard about. I am a person, so this applies to me too. The problem that can arise with this tendency is that it makes us all poor listeners and thus poor communicators. Having this blog as an outlet helps me out with that though. I normally like to tell people about myself too, but after I've blogged about something I feel pretty much spent on the subject. I'm over it; I've explained it; I don't feel a strong desire to share again and again. I ceratinly don't mind most of the time, but I feel less of a desire. That helps me out with being a better listener. I don't sit and wait to talk nearly as much as I used to do. This is a good thing.
I'm still in Nashville. I'm still working on getting checked out, but it is better now, because Joy is here. She got here last night around 10PM after driving for about eight hours. I really needed someone to come pick me up because I have so much stuff to take home, and there are so few people with cars going straight to Gainesville.
It's pretty cool having her here. Waiting around wasn't really a problem before because there were so many people, but it is cool having someone outside of SW to talk to too. Also, she has a car so that helped out tremendously with getting my U-Haul to the U-Haul facility.
Hopefully, I am completely checked out before the end of the day. I'd like to get to Atlanta at least before midnight tonight.
I'm in Nashville again!! I am working on doing all the paperwork that is required for check out, but I saw this computer sitting over here, thought it would be worth a try to see if it had an Internet connection, and viola! I'm online.
OK, now for the stories about getting here --
I didn't really have a way to get myself to Nashville with all of the books and stuff that I have to take along with me. This was pretty much the problem for everyone in our org, so I decided to rent a U-haul truck.
The Adventure Begins...
So, I arranged to have a 10' U-haul truck waiting for me in Scottsboro today, by calling 1-800-GO-U-HAUL. I knew ahead of time that none of the Scottsboro and vicinity U-Haul locations had any trucks that size, but hey... I know that U-Haul will hook me up, and they did. I got a 24 foot truck!
I packed that thing up as fast as I could this morning and set out for Huntsville to pick up Gali, Andrew Gordon, and a bunch of stuff for other people. Then we drove up I-65 to Nashville. Everything went smoothly, until we turned off at the wrong exit, which made me nervous. Just like in Memphis there was a Marriot hotel, an International airport and we were headed on the right road AWAY from our destination which was just a few blocks away from the turn-off.
Fortunately, we made it down "victory lane" and I dropped off Andrew and Gali to go and do something -- I can't remember because of what happened next. As I was circling the lot to come back to park at a few open parking lots. When I went down and out of the parking lot I stopped because some chick in an economy car thought she'd just race out in front of me instead of waiting for me to turn. This was bad because the U-Haul's ball hitch was essentially tilling the parking lot. When I stopped the truck the hitch anchored me (the U-Haul) into the ashpalt, and I couldn't go forward or reverse. This caused a spectacle. Eventually, I left the U-Haul to go turn in my money before they closed up shop and some guy with a Ford F-550 pulled this 24' truck that was anchored to the parking lot through the parking lot and off ot the side of Atrium Way.
All of that happened as soon as I had given up and resigned myself to the situation being solved somehow. Luckily it was solved in such a way that I was not charged anything.
Now, I've been doing paperwork for the last two hours and we've got Papa John's on the way. It should be here in about five minutes!! Woohoo! We're getting 2 two topping pizzas for $18 (after Tennessee's exorbitant sales tax of 9%.)
Today I went to church with Karen and Tonya (my hosts here in Scottsboro.) That was a pretty interesting experience. The church was a really, really small church (there were 30 people present including the pastor, but not including me.)
I'm not really into old, small churches anymore. To me they smack of an unhealthiness of some type. Almost all healthy things grow until they are mature. This church seems to have ended its growth under the leader that I met, and it seems to be content with that. That leads me to believe that it is experiencing a church health problem.
The church service was informal, played loud prerecorded music, and was semi-charismatic in that they waved their hands and spoke in tongues a times. The message was short and it was one of these messages in which the leader would quickly jump from passage to passage taking just one or two sentences from disparate books of the Bible and then putting it together to have a semi-unified message. At times that can get under my skin, because it makes it all too easy to take things out of context and present a warped message.
I seem to often be skeptical of churches and their leaders at first. I want to feel them out and see if they check out with what the Bibles says and what I believe.
Another thing that had an impact on me was the fact that a good number of the people in the congregation had weight issues. There were even women who were stereotypically popping candies throughout the service, which was funny because it was so true to type. Now, I know that Christians are never perfect and rarely even close, but to see that even the leaders were grossly, grossly overweight was a warning signal to me. That speaks to me about a lack of self-control, spiritual immaturity and the like. Leaders are supposed to hold themselves to a higher standard.
The final things that struck me as a bit immature were the eagerness that the congragation had when they prayed for good things and a few misconceptions about God. They didn't seem to want any bad thing to come their way -- save martyrdom. That seems to be far from what a life of submission to God and following Christ looks like to me. The leader even felt that Hurricane Charley was from the devil, which I find to be almost laughable. God creates. God creates hurricanes. It is not evil to have destruction enter our lives. Satan just misleads -- this guy seemed to have been grossly misled by a number of things.
Well, that's pretty much the end of my thoughts on all that.
I am happy to say that I may have had a part in adding to the larger blogging community. I started my blog over a year ago -- not long before I met the soon to be mentioned wonderful ladies -- and in the space of one year four people have created three blogs and are actively adding to the greater blogging community.
OK, enough of my effort to pat myself on the back for something I probably had little to do with. Check out their blogs.
First, Jenn and Megan tag-teamed their way into blogdom with the aptly named (and envy inducing) "Diabloglical."
Then Jessica dropped a bomb on the cyberscape with her prolific semi-self-titled jbrar7 -- subtitled The Woman's Heart -- God's Palace
And now... coming to a browser in front of you... Lana jumps into the fray with her debut of ArbitraryWords
http://moneycentral.msn.com/content/Savinganddebt/Savemoney/P90801.asp
Well, I am nearly done with delivering now.
I was really wanting to be done after Thursday, but a number of my customers did not have the money that they were supposed to have to pay for the books this week. So, I have to wait for about 20 of them to get home from work and cash their paychecks.
Knowing this I decided that I would 'sleep in' today. I didn't actually get to sleep in because I needed some more books and I had to wake up early to go and get them this morning, but I did manage to come back and go to bed again and sleep another four hours. That was nice. Now I am taking it easy for a while.
The way I see it, I'm stuck here another three days. I have 34 more deliveries to do. Some of those actually are people who have paid in full, which is positive because it gives me some momentum. The rest are people who I have caught up with that were caught short, but still said they want the books OR people I haven't manage to catch up with just yet. Now, having three days to do 34 deliveries is pretty nice considering I have been able to attempt forty or more a day.
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On another note... I have lost a lot of weight this summer, but lately I've been so hungry (a lot of it is probably in my head at this point though due to sleep deprivation and undernourishment) that I've managed to gain a lot of that weight back by eating more and eating some 'junk' too.
I don't think I've managed to put it all back on just yet, but I know I am getting close. The funny thing is that it feels uncomfortable going back, so I feel like I am getting fat. Perhaps I was fatter before, and I really am getting fat again. Who knows? All I know is that I am going to be running more when I get home. I am going to have all kinds of energy when this is done for the next two weeks, and I want that to last. So, I am putting in the time to run and work out.
When we go door-to-door and sell books, we often get free stuff like bikes, loaner cars, free food, and tons and tons of soft drinks and bottled water. This seemed to be unusual for our group, but I got an amazing amount of fresh fruit and vegetables (I work country.)
Some people this summer have gotten pocket knives, beer, (I was actually offered tons of beer and even wine and champagne)
There are also many, many unaccepted offers for free stuff too. I have been offered dogs, cats, daughters, beverages (again), and many other weird things.
The coolest thing was just given to me last night though! I got XBOX games!! No, not just one or two XBOX games, but FOUR (4) FREE XBOX games!!
So, what games did I get? Well, nothing brand spanking new or anything, but they are still great games. Here are the titles.
EA's 2003 NCAA College Football
Sega's 2K3 NCAA College Football
EA's Madden 2003
Eidos' Mad Dash Racing
The best thing about this is that all four games are for 1 to 4 players, which is almost a requirement for me in gaming, because I don't really have time to play video games outside of social times.
This is what we've all been waiting for... delivery week!
About one more week until I am done and home.
Delivery week is another crazy Southwestern experience in the long line of crazy experiences. Fortunately this particular part of the experience is much more pleasant than the selling phase of Soutwestern. Of course, because it is more pleasant we get less sleep. I have to be out delivering from 7AM til anywhere from 10PM (like last night) 'til midnight like I'll be doing on Wednesday night.
The pleasant part of this is getting to see all the cool families again; driving from one specific, known place to another, which means more time in the car listening to whatever you like; being invited into houses all day, which means A/C all day; getting to see which of your weak orders came through and which didn't; and breaks / free time planned right into your schedule.
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Here's the Schedule:
7AM to 9AM -- Deliveries to eight familes
9AM to 11AM -- Deliveries to eight familes
11AM to 1PM -- Banking and Clean-up
1PM to 3PM -- Deliveries to eight familes
3PM to 5PM -- Deliveries to eight familes
5PM to 7PM -- Clean-up, new selling (Catch up with any families that you missed during the day)
7PM to 10PM -- Deliveries to eight familes and Clean-up
Now, that means you deliver to at least forty families a day. Yesterday I had 43 deliveries scheduled and made 27 successful deliveries. I reported 27 though, becase two that I missed were customers that paid in full. I just need to drop those books off later on this evening.
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One of the weirdest things about delivering yesterday was revisiting Sand Mountain and all the areas I worked for the first four to six weeks of my summer. I saw places where I had felt some very deep emotions. Different memories would pour back into me as I drove past areas I knew far too well. The whole thing was really surreal. It was as close to seeing your life flash before your eyes as I have gotten. Four weeks (I haven't delivered to the area of Sand Mountain that made up weeks 3 and 4) flashed before my eyes.
I drove by so many houses, and I could remember knocking on so many of their doors. I'd remember the responses, whether or not they even invited me in, I'd even remember some of their names and kid's names. The whole thing was crazy. I am kinda excited about going up there again this afternoon to see the area I covered weeks 3 and 4.
Finally! I am done with knocking on (new) doors for the summer. I still have a week or more of this Southwestern thing left, but I don't have to approach anymore strangers next week, and after next Thursday or Friday I won't have to deal with (m)any more customers either.
I would really, really like to get done with all of this delivery stuff by Thursday night so I could drive up to Nashville with Andrew and his brothers, check out Friday and be back in Florida by Saturday. That would be AWESOME!
If that doesn't happen then I won't be home until Tuesday or Wednesday, because I'll have to wait until Monday to check out and I'll have to deal with lines of people who are also wanting to check out at the same time.
In my delivery schedule I have everyone fit into four days of delivering. I don't know how realistic that is, but I will soon see. For the better part of this summer I have been asking people when they'd be home during the first week of school. The people in my org declared this quite foolish, and it may have been, but we'll see about that too.
I am almost done with my weekly, and it says that I have 195 customers as of now. I know that ten families have canceled their orders, so that brings me to 185 customers. I wanted to hit 200 customers, and it might still happen, but it seems unlikely. Luckily, the people I'll be talking to this next week will all be people who asked me to come back and check on them in August. That should help a little -- I'd think.
Well, as you might be able to tell by my writing, I am dead tired. I need to get to bed ASAP because I have delivery school tomorrow, and I need to get there ontime, which is 9AM. Also, I might be driving Karen's van, which is not something I am used to doing -- so add some time due to that too.
Dahnell started delivering books Thursday because he has tons of customers and he has to deliver for Andrew, who died earlier this summer. This is important because these last two days and tomorrow he is waking up an hour or more earlier than I am to get on the road so he can start at 7AM instead of 7:59 or earlier like the normal summer schedule.
Now, this means that he wakes up, gets ready, and goes much much earlier than I do. It also means that the alarm goes off at 6AM with me in the room all by myself. Fortunately I am on the top bunk so I do need to make a concerted effort to get out of bed and turn off the alarm. I'd also need to do more work to get back into bed afterwards. So both of those things help with the discipline to get up.
Yesterday, I got up, started my day and got to my first house by 7:51AM. That was great! I did well. I was going to rock it out on Thursday because I've been sucking all week.
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Today, I got up at 6AM, I started getting ready... then I turned on the computer. It wasn't here yesterday morning to tempt me, but today it is here and I lost. That would have only kept me from work another half an hour to an hour, because eventually I do get finished writing e-mails, blog entries and blog comments to the other blogs I read. So, I took a nice hot shower. Then I decided I should take a nap, because I was already too late to get an honest start time. The nap didn't really work. I am so used to be on an adrenaline rush in the morning that I was wired laying in bed. After 45 minutes of drifting into and out of consciousness I decided to get up again. I started getting ready and then talked to Karen for a while.
At 10AM she got a call. It was for me or Dahnell. It was the shipping company with our books. Praise God I was home. Last time this happened (the company called the HQ instead of our cell phones) Karen took the call, didn't take any notes, messed up the delivery, and didn't tell me about it for five days.
So, now I am emotionally conflicted. I know that I really, really should not have stayed home today. I also know that I was kinda doing it for several reasons -- one of which had to do with outright rebellion against the company and anger for having had such a pathetic week despite reasonably strong efforts. However, had I not done this I would have likely had to deal with a major issue with the books again, and Dahnell would have really been up a creek. So, I'm torn. Can I feel justified in my actions now that such an important thing was handled properly? Was God just using my rebellious spirit and actions to help out me and Dahnell? Can I just enjoy my time off and think nothing of it?
I don't know, but I think that enjoying my time off is all I really can do at this point. Thinking back on how many people have bought from me so far in Arab I don't really think I am missing out on much of a book selling opportunity by not being out there for half of the day today. I also still have tomorrow to clean up whatever areas I think are the best prospects.
OTHER SIDE THOUGHTS FROM THIS MORNING:
I was not able to take a nap today nor would I have been able to sleep in. This actually came as a frustrating suprise at first, but I quickly remembered that the B-Contract dealers all told me that I would not be able to sleep in when I got back home for a week or more. Spending the whole summer in an extremely consistant schedule has a huge impact on everyone's sleep schedule and body cycles.
I now know that when I get back to Florida I will very likely wake up early in the morning still, and I will be totally pumped up every day for quite some time.
Perhaps I will keep this up for a little while by working out and running everyday and continuing to wake up at the same time every day. The latter of those two would definately be easier to accomplish, but both are doable if I want them. The only issue is that I won't be running around door-to-door all day, because I will have to sit in class for part of the day. Oh well, that should just leave me with all the more energy for working out when class is over.
I have two more days of selling left. This brings me mixed feelings which are basically positive when weighed out.
I am happy to be so close to being done. Though, I am sorta dreading the week ahead because I will get even less sleep for four days (is that possible!?!) while I am doing deliveries. I may have to wake up an hour earlier like Dahnell is doing this week, and I will most certainly have to stay out much later at night Wednesday and Thursday.
I am also a little upset that my opportunity to make "crazy money" is coming to a close. It helps that I am doing so poorly this week in a way, because it makes me feel like the faucet is being turned off.
I also anticipate knowing how many of my weak orders are going to come through, and how many of my stronger orders buy more from me when I come with the books that they ordered.
Most of all I look forward to coming home, but I feel very helpless because I don't have a car. I have a lot of stuff that I brought (thinking that I would have my Jeep on my way home too,) and I am going to need to get a ride to Nashville and then to Gainesville. This need for a ride always means that I have to stay later than necessary, because when I am not ready people who could give me a ride will leave me for the others who are still not ready, and when I am ready I'll have to wait until someone who is able to give me a ride is also ready. No big deal though. I am just expecting to be in Florida by the 18th at the latest.
We were all born with a team of one to lead. This team is our proving ground. The better we manage and lead this 'team of one' the more likely it is that people will want to join the team and be a part of the vision.
This summer I have intimately experienced and learned the value of persistance and faith in the daily and weekly microcosms that repeat themselves out here in the bookfield. I am psyched about translating these lessons and experiences into the macrocosm of my 'real' life.
Every day, I wake up at 6:00AM. I get up, get ready for the day, take a cold shower, get dressed and go off to breakfast. Then we eat, do execs, and drive to our sales locality. When I am knocking on doors and feel like no one is ever going to buy I can get discouraged, but today (and other days too) I realized that I always sell something eventually. Everyday someone somewhere buys some of my books. It has happened with such consistancy that I feel like I can almost take it as a given.
Now, this applies to my life in sooo many ways. To get the sale(s) that eventually come before the end of the day I have to keep working. I have to go to the next house. I have to continue smiling and greeting prospect after prospect. I have to show the books to 30+ people everyday, and after doing this I will surely make one or more sales in that day.
Writing
I want to write a book. I'd like to publish a book.
I felt this same way about poetry four or five years ago. What had to happen? Well, at that time I didn't write much or often. I'd try my best to make my poems as "perfect" as possible. After writing for a few years I had amassed several poems. Maybe close to one hundred different poems on all different topics covering a variety of themes. Finally, I had two poems published and they've been published several times in different anthologies. They are nothing serious, but I now have a few poems that people actually find interesting and enjoy.
Now I am Blogging. I write at least one entry every week and I make a concerted effort to post 15 entries a month. I do not try to make every entry perfect. I have done that, but I gave it up. Now I just try to keep writing. Every once in a while I will write one that I really like, one that will receive many comments, or one that other people like a lot. I am even willing to bet that I have an entry posted at this site that people who don't even know me would benefit from or at least enjoy. This is going to be my 226th published entry (I write some just for me that I do not publish.) So, it has taken a lot of persistance and faithfulness in my writing to get to this point where I have a few entries like I just mentioned. I even have an daily average of 60 to 70 visits to my site every month.
So, back to this book thing. I've got a few ideas for books. I don't think I want to do fiction at this point, but I do want to write books. So... time to get started. I have actually fleshed out an idea for a book this summer that I plan to write this Fall. I want it done by Christmas. This book might not be good. It could even suck, but that is not the issue. The reason I want to write this book is to get started on the path of writing books. I may have to write 30 books to finally have one that I like, one that others like, and/or one that is published -- just like out here in the bookfield.
This is a totally new paradigm in my thinking. It has come over time -- it didn't just happen this summer, but it is wildly different from my perfectionistic thinking that I'd get a masterpiece the very first time (or two.) Now, I am excited about putting it into action in the rest of my life. Anticipating that I may have to write thirty books before I have one that I love makes me more prepared for what will likely be a long journey, but I am excited about getting started and I am mentally ready for the mountains of work that I will soon need to plow through.
I've been meeting some interesting people this summer, and a good deal of them are professing Christians. Whenever I meet any cool people on the bookfield, Christian or not, I always wish I could stay and talk to them more. I am always really happy when I sell them books too, because it means I'll get to see them again at the end of the summer!
Well, this week I've had a thought that seems obvious to any who read this I'm sure, but it just wasn't at the front of my mind until recently.
All the cool Christian people that I meet out here and want to spend more time with will likely be in Heaven with me later on. How cool is that!?! I met some girl today who had just graduated from some Christian college in Georgia, and I was thinking that it would probably be fun to talk to her for more than two minutes, but I left quickly anyway, because I knew that I'd catch up with her again. No, she didn't but books from me, and I most likely won't see her in this lifetime, but I will when we're all in heaven.
This thought has spawned many other joy inducing thoughts for me lately, and they all pretty much started back in April when I realized that Heaven actually was going to rock for a reason that I can understand today -- the people that will be there! I am excited about hanging out with so many of my favorite people thoughout life, meeting interesting people that I never got a chance to meet, and hearing all the great stories.
Thinking about just this one aspect of being in Heaven as me totally stoked about getting there and being there. I honestly can't wait! Also, it gets me thinking... whenever I run into someone I really like I'll be all the more motivated to share Jesus' message with him or her because I'll want the companionship to last longer than the few hours or days that I have to be with that person.
One more thought about this before I get going...
Earth is a bit like heaven. We get to hang out with saints soooo much of the time.
I had an idea (today?) involving setting up a website for people who would be willing to become a part of a internet-based peer-to-peer library.
This idea first started with the idea of getting together some people that I know and creating a list of all the books and AudioBooks that we had and keeping the list updated. If we wanted to read something we could check the list and borrow the book from the friend if someone had it.
Then the idea grew to anyone in Gainesville that had a collection of Christian books that wanted to participate. Now I am thinking that it would be cool to have it be online. This would make the idea available to everyone, it would make the lists easier to manage and search, and it would give people the option of creating groups, meeting new people through a common interest, sharing with other Christians, etc.
It would still need to be kept local though, because getting books to people would get expensive if mailing them was involved. Also, it is nice to know the people so you know you can trust them to return the books and keep them in good condition. The returning and return condition issues are actually something that I am also going to have to overcome too -- likely with some sort of recommendation and rating system. Finally, websites cost money to design, update, host, and manage so I'd need a way to pay for it -- likely through donations like a typical library.
If you are reading this often and would like to get involved in one of the ways listed below send me an e-mail or leave a comment.
--Book/AudioBook Enthusiast with a collection of ten or more items.
--Financial Contribution.
--Web Designer.
--Web Host.
Things typically need to start out small so I am thinking that it would be great to just start out with my circle of friends and their friends and to make it topical to begin with. I am begining to have quite a collection of Christian Living books and AudioBooks and know a few other people who do too, so I am thinking about starting there.
Here's a flash animation that I received in an e-mail last week. I want to delete the e-mail, but save the link so I thought I'd blog it real quick.