For those of you who don't know me well, I am not really the car washinh kind of guy. This worked fine when I had my Jeep, but the Pacifica looks really bad after several weeks without a wash. Also, my dad really wants me to start keeping my car clean, so I decided to take it to a car wash. There are two of them within a quarter mile of my apartment. I don't know how well it is going to work, because the car wash didn't dry it very well, but it looks clean right now.
This month is shaping up to be my slowest month of blogging since the inception of this site. Hopefully, it will remain as the slowest month for many more months.
I was thinking about how few entries I have been posting lately, and wondering if some of my friends and fellow bloggers are possibly posting more frequently than usual to coax me back into blogging. If so, I appreciate it. For some reason, when I see that someone I know is blogging more, it makes me want to blog more frequently. Of course, the same is sometimes true when I see someone drop blogging from thier life for a month or so, but that tends to make me commit to staying regular with posting. Time to go read a few more to see how the rest of my friends are doing.
Last Thursday I rented Fable for XBOX, and I have been playing it off and on for the last few days. It is an interesting game made by the EA subsidiary that put Black and White together. In the game you run around as this little adventurer guy doing different deeds throughout the guy's country, which reminds me of the British Isles in a way.
The interesting part of the game is that you run around doing deeds, but you can do good deeds or evil deeds and still progress through the game.
I typically do good deeds, because I like to think of myself as a good guy, but I have done a few bad deeds too. I mistakenly hit people who I am fighting with, and I have a hard time sparing the lives of characters that I think I should kill. I also stole some stuff thinking that it was laying there for the taking like in a more typcial RPG.
I have put under ten hours into the game so far and I am nearly done with the story... according to the walkthrough that I looked up yesterday afternoon. Other interesting parts of the game are the fact that you can invest in real estate, trade to make money, and even get married. I was close to getting married, before I even realized you could get married, but when the virtual woman suggested I get a wedding ring for her I didn't have one on me.
After reading through the walkthrough I found out that gay marriages are also possible -- as is polygamy. The game is interesting, but completely devoid of what I consider to be morality. Sure, you could say that morality is intrinsic to the game, because the game is constantly judging your actions, but you can succeed in the game by being moral or completely immoral.
Actually, thinking about it more, I guess the game is like life. You get to act out your free will and choose to be either good or bad. The game gives you instant feedback on what it feels your actions are -- good or bad -- and the extent of the goodness or badness is also measured and reported to you instantantly. Unfortunately, even in the game (like in life) I have been unsuccessful in being completely good, and that kinda disappoints me.
This past weekend I relented to Joy's requests to leave Orlando again (after being here just two days) and headed down to Fort Myers after mere three hours after getting off from work. I left even though I badly needed sleep, and I left quickly so I could just drive home and crawl into bed...
This past weekend was a nightmare. Sure we got things taken care of for the wedding etc., but things just got crazy during and after that. I think that most of it has to do with me sleeping through a phone call (that I answered while sleeping, I gather) and then missing a dinner with Joy's parents that I didn't exactly know about.
Things are still crazy even now. Joy is upset because anti-David propagandists speak negatively of me. She listens to it all and then brings it all to me. This whole thing would be easier if people could speak negatively about me to me, but that is unlikely.
Clearly, I am betraying a blogdom rule and writing about interpersonal struggles online -- even if it is very vaguely. So, I'll go ahead and stop. Just know that I am worn out from crap slinging in my direction and many, many other things.
I started using netflix when I was still at UF with my roommate at the time, Mike. We had a pretty neat deal going. The cost of Netflix was $19.95/month for three movies out at a time. Mike and I would split the cost each month and we'd each pick one DVD on our own and then decide on a movie to watch together in the living room at night. We did this for a while, and I canceled the account when we moved out and I went off to do Southwestern.
When I returned from my summer I resumed my Netflix account because I thought I had a lot of time on my hands. Their price had gone up a few dollars a month, but I wasn't too concerned. Then finals came around, I canceled the account again and now that I am back in Orlando I decided to catch up on all the movies I missed over the summer, which are coming out on DVD now.
Then I found Blockbuster.com. (This is an unnecessarily long narration. What is going on here? Anyway...) I actually found them last semester, but I didn't think it was worthwhile, because Netflix announced that they were going to reduce the price of their service to match Blockbuster's fee.
Now, Blockbuster.com has reduced their fee again. It is at $14.99/month. That saves me $3 over Netflix every month. In addition to those savings I also get (right when I start the service) two free in-store game (or movie) rentals every month. That is pretty cool, but it gets better. Oh yes, it gets better. Each game rental last one week, which is pretty nice, but Blockbuster sweetened their deal by ending late fees. That means I can keep the game for seven more days without getting charged (beyond seven days, and I buy the game, but I then have 30 days to return it and get a refund.) So, cheapskate that I am... I will rent the game, keep it 12 or 13 days (if it is not a popular title) and then rent it again immediately OR the next time I feel like playing it. This basically means that I can constantly be playing new video games for the same cost that I was already paying to rent movies. Actually, for less because the price went down considerably.
I am very happy about all of this.
Today Joy and I went to Target to start our first gift registry for the wedding. This whole process is actually pretty cool. You walk up to a kiosk and fill out a number of electronic forms and then the kiosk tells you to go to guest services, where you get a few sheets of instructions, a catalog, and a scanner. Once you get all that you walk around the store scanning barcodes connected to the merchandise you want uploaded into your registry. Very nice. Very nice.
The fun part of all this is that I had chosen to wear a bright red polo shirt with white slacks and my Banana Republic dress shoes. As soon as I got this scanner, a provacatively dressed young woman walks up to me and starts asking me some questions about random things. To make things stranger Joy was missing from my side, which was a shock to me. So, to recap, I turned around from waiting in line at guest services to get this scanner and notice that Joy is missing. I walk a few steps and this girl is asking asking me seemingly random questions and she is really wanting some help.
This little issue was confusing for me, of course, but also for the girl who thought I was a Target employee, and for Joy who had been watching the tail-end of this scene from outside the store through the glass entryway. (Note to other guys: Do not talk to provocatively dressed, female, Target shoppers at any point before, during, or immediately after your wedding gift registry experience... especially if you are dressed better than usual while your fiance is more relaxed than usual with her attire. UNLESS you happen to have the great "Oh, I was just wearing the Target employee uniform and she was wondering about _________!" excuse.)
So, after that little fiasco is explained, I tell Joy that she had better stick close to me so other people don't bother me. This plan works out great, except Joy tends to wander off from time to time, and at one point she even needs to go buy some Trident. This leaves me alone in Target with a scanner, and every time she comes back I am 'caught' talking to more young female Target shoppers. (Really, I sometimes wonder if there is any other kind of Target shopper.) Fortunately, Joy sees this happen first hand with some other shoppers at a few other points and she just laughs off the whole thing. And I am safe. Whew!
I have been struggling lately with a great number of issues, but last night I finally got some answers that satisfied me and eased my rebellious, hurting soul.
Last night I was reading the Bible and my reading covered 1Kings 9:1-9 and Deuteronomy 17:14-20. It is interesting to read these two passages together -- especially in their greater historical context. Also, reading the end of Deuteronomy 17 was helpful to me because I had been frustrated with God's law. It seemed to me that there was an awfully fine line that we are to walk to be within the law. I had been feeling that God tells us one thing and then another thing that is almost contradictory, but not quite. Then I read this,
"When he takes the throne of his kingdom, he is to write for himself on a scroll a copy of this law, taken from that of the priests, who are Levites. It is to be with him, and he is to read it all the days of his life so that he may learn to revere the LORD his God and follow carefully all the words of this law and these decrees and not consider himself better than his brothers and turn from the law to the right or to the left. Then he and his descendants will reign a long time over his kingdom in Israel."
which made me realize a number of things. 1. Keeping the law is an attempt to walk a fine line! You can stray from it to the right or to the left, so my feelings are validated and I probably shouldn't be frustrated anymore because that's just the way life is! It's an attempt to walk a tighttope of a law that protects us from plummetting to our damnation. 2. My need for a daily reminder of the Law and the Gospel is nothing special -- even Kings of Isreal needed to daily read a copy of the king's law to remember their duties. 3. Solomon, a famous and great king, managed to break every point of the law for Isreali kings set forth in Deuteronomy 17:14-20. If that awesome man failed to keep the rules than everyone else is susceptible to failures like his too. He broke every single rule and he was originally blessed mightily by God. This is deeply striking of how vulnerable I am to slipping far from God, His commands, His presence and everything else that is lost along with slipping far from God.
I need some more balance in my life -- as usual.
This week I noticed that the imbalance of my time spent with people and time spent alone is really hard on me. I pretty much need to go out and spend time with people socializing and interacting in some way with people I know. I also need to spend time alone to reflect on my life, relax, and do things that require my focus like writing and studying.
Lately, I have spent entire weeks going to the extreme with one or the other of these things. I will either be mostly alone for almost a week and then see people for a few hours here and there or I will go entire weeks being around people constantly with just a few hours to myself. It is driving me crazy!
I don't know where the balance will lie, but I know that ideally I'd like to spend a few hours each day alone and a few hours each day around people. That leaves many, many hours for flexibility.
Also, I noticed that when I am spending time with people different situations fit into different categories in how I feel. Sometimes I can spend a whole lot of time in a big group and be worn out with people, but find rest with just one or two people. Also, there are times when I spend a lot of time with just a person or two, but feel refreshed when I go into a larger group social setting.
I guess this is all about staying relaxed and being refreshed. When I spend too much time along I get ancy. When I am spending too much time with just one or two people I can also get anxious and want a different setting, and the quickest of them all is when I am in a large group of people. It can be refreshing at first, but I get my fill of it pretty quickly too.
This is all pretty interesting to me right now. I am reflecting on different times when I feel ancy, which is basically my way of saying that I have pent up energy inside and want some change of scenery. When I think about it there are also certain people who I like to spend time with, but who I can only spend so much time with before I am ready to move forward.
It seems to me that when I first switch situations I feel either pleasure or displeasure. After that initial time I move to either contentedness, deeper displeasure, or deeper pleasure. Then as time moves on I eventually am finding the situation to be displeasurable because I want to switch scenery. The question I am wondering now is, 'how long do I stay happy/content with a given person, group, or social situation?' Knowing this about myself may be useful in helping me figure out what sort of working situation I want to be in as well as the sort of social situations I like.
2004 has come and gone, and I am glad it is behind me.
This year has been pretty crazy for sure, and I would say that it has been a relatively unenjoyable year for me.
2004 is the year...
I turned 22-years-old.
I graduated from University of Florida with a Bachelors of Arts in Business Administration.
I enrolled in Reformed Theological Seminary to pursue a Masters of Divinity.
I said goodbye to some really great friends.
I spent four months working with The Southwestern Company.
I flipped my 1996 Jeep Grand Cherokee on its head.
I wrecked the Yandre's Nissan 4Runner.
I received a 2004 Chrysler Pacifica from my parents.
I watched four hurricanes miss, nearly miss, and then hit my state.
I finally voted in a Presidential election.
I lived in three different cities through the year spending almost exactly a third of the year in each.
January -- April 30: Gainesville, FL.
May -- late August: Scottsboro, AL.
September -- December: Oviedo, FL.
I finally got to see the Red Sox win the world series.
My High School finally won the state title in Varsity soccer after going to the final four roughly seven out of the last ten years.
I started working as an associate with the Panera Bread Company on October 20th.
On October 30th, I asked Joy Lynn Mueller to marry me on May fifth, 2005.
Insurgents flocked to Iraq to wage guerilla warfare against occupying US troops.
My grandmother died.
My brother spent his first Christmas away from our family to be with his girlfriend in Latvia.
Ukraine's second Presidential election is rerun by order of their supreme court, and the dioxin poisoned candidate Vickto Yushchenko wins convincingly.
An earthquake measuring 9.0 on the richtor scale caused a tsunami which affected over a dozen nations boardering the Indian Ocean killing what I think will end up being over half a million people.
A lot has happened in the past year for me and for the entire world. I changed a lot and so has Joy. I think that 2004 had a huge impact on me in ways that will be good in the long term even though most of them were hard through the short term. It was generally a tumultuous year for me and I feel like the weather relfected it even as it contributed to the constant fluctuations in my life. I lived in three different cities throughout the year. I evacuated for three hurricanes. Southwestern itself is a whirlwind of activity, learning experiences, and emotional difficulties. I had my first and my second car accidents within eight days of each other during the experience, and that is just the easiest thing to mention. I proposed marriage for the first and only time.
In 2005 I have plans to be married which should be good both in the short term and the long term. Things look like they will be much more stable for me personally this year. I should stay in the same city for the entire year, though I will be visiting Gainesville and Fort Myers frequently. However, the second half of the year could be quite unstable as I adjust to living with just one person and all the other things that will come with marriage.
Other than the marriage, I can't really predict too much for 2005. I think that I will still be working at Panera and going to school at RTS, but even that can change quite quickly and throw me back into the constant flux that was 2004.