This weekend Joy and I drove back to Fort Myers for my brother's wedding. It was held on Saturday, May 28th at 6:00PM. It was a pretty interesting affair, because it was held in a Greek Orthodox church in Naples.
This is the one question that I am getting more than any other these days. Gone are the days of "How are you?" or even "and how is Joy doing?" Now everone seems to be getting straight to the point with a grin and, "So, how's married life treating you?"
Man, I could devote an entire blog to this one topic, and if I had the time I'd fill it up with a few hundred entries without a problem.
One thing that I feel free to talk about if people are looking for a longer answer than, "great!" is the changes involved with getting married. I have a new roommate; who happens to be female, which is new for me. On top of that I am also sleeping with someone every night, which is totally new for me.
I talk about this whenever people are interested, because it is so different. I'm not accostommed to sleeping with someone, and Joy is kinda difficult in this regard because she gets so hot when she sleeps. Some of her girlfriends had warned me about this, and I have even noticed it on a few occasions, but I never thought it would have such an impact on me. This morning is no exception.
I wake up over and over again at night now, when I am used to sleeping through an entire night without a problem. Instead, I wake up early in the morning, because the human furnace next to me is making so extremely hot. Sometimes I'll wake up several different times throughout the night and I'll wonder if I ever really slept at all.
My supervisor at UPS is always interested in this marriage situation of mine, and he got to hear about this problem. He laughed about it and said it would drive him crazy because he likes it cold when he sleeps. Well, I am the same way. If it is cooler I can go to sleep sooo easily. Joy? She heats things up so much that I just wake up -- sometimes I'm even starting to sweat.
Tonight I woke up at who knows what hour and I had a bit of an idea. Joy was hot all over again so I rolled the comforter thing down so it was just up to our waists. Then I finished Joy's earlier undressing job for her and thought it would be a great to roll her over and rub her back. She seemed to like this even in her sleep, and it cooled her down enough for another couple hours' worth of sleep.
It's 7AM now, so this idea obviously wasn't much of a long-term solution. I need a long-term solution. For a few weeks I didn't really let this sort of thing bother me, because I figured I'd adjust and be sleeping through 100+ degree temperatres in no time. Now it is just over three weeks later and I am still waking up at all hours of the early morning. Perhaps I will adjust completely at some point... I did sleep through the night last night after all. I guess patience will have to work until better ideas come my way.
When you work at a typical UPS warehouse or HUB you'd quickly get the feeling that you are surrounded by old, worn, and beaten up equipment, machinery, tools, etc. This is a valid feeling, because you really are surrounded by all these things, but UPS also is a gateway to some of the newer and newest things in life.
When things are shipped throughout the nation via UPS to places such as Wal-Mart, Best Buy, CVS Pharmacy, Office Depot, etc etc. you end up handling a lot of things that are marked very explicitly to be opened at or after a certain date. We typically abide by these written requests, but when the volume gets really high "jams" happen. These lead to some packages breaking and then their contents are strewn everywhere. I remember at the end of April seeing tons and tons of Pokemon Emerald games because the Pokemon Emerald release was May 1st, 2005 and because those boxes would pop open so easily.
This package breakage happens so frequently that there are "tote boxes" throughout every work area which are used for storing both the cardboard remains of the package and its contents until you carry it to this station where people will repair or repackage any and all damaged boxes.
So, that is pretty cool, because I get to see all these really cool CDs, DVDs, video games, etc way before they come out. There are also really awesome computers, cell phones, etc etc that are shipped through UPS. No wonder they are so strict about security at the warehouse!
Another thing about UPS that is pretty "new" is their use of Bluetooth with our loading scanners. I get to/have to use these scanners every day to scan and load anywhere between 1100 and 1600 packages in 4.5 hours. The unit is acutally two units... a scanner and a base unit. They are connected wirelessly via Bluetooth. This is really cool, because it means I only have to have one little thing strapped to me all night instead of two things... one of which is about three to five pounds. It's also really cool because I now have an excellent feel for Bluetooth's effective range.
There are other cool "new" things at the UPS hub that I work at, but I think mentioning two is enough for one post.
Yesterday at work I decided that it would be a good thing to start thinking of patience as a masculine trait. This is not to say that women cannot be patient or that women are not typically patient. Instead, I see this as being something of a standard of masculinity like strength, indifference, and the ability to hold in tears.
Just think of it like this... patience is a trait of masculinity so when someone you know is being upset about this or that taking a long time you could respond with the ever demeaning, "Stop being a girl about it." The effects of this mindset could be far reaching. Lower insurance rates for men, fewer heart attacks, less stress, fewer grumpy guys, etc etc.
Anyway, let me know what you think, and be quick about it because I don't have all month!
Here is an article about having an ugly child. Enjoy!
http://www.newyorker.com/shouts/content/articles/050523sh_shouts
I think I want to save a copy of it for when it disappears into netherspace.
"Parents would certainly deny it, but Canadian researchers have made a startling assertion: parents take better care of pretty children than they do ugly ones."
—The Times.
Until I saw the article in the Times, I’d felt so utterly alone. Was I the only one? The sole parent on earth who knew the anguish, the heart-shattering despair of— All right, I’ll just say it, right out loud. I am the mother of an ugly child. She’s not deformed or handicapped or odd; she’s unattractive.
Even during my pregnancy, I’d had my suspicions. I remember peering at the ultrasound screen as my obstetrician told me, “Look, it’s a brand-new life,” and all I could say was “Fine, but why are we watching the Discovery Channel?” And then, after I gave birth, a nurse placed something on my chest and cooed, “Here’s your little miracle,” and I glanced down, bewildered, and asked, “Who ordered the veal scaloppine?”
For the next few years, when guests would drop by, I’d pretend that Lisa, as we’d named her, was a Duraflame log. As she grew older, I referred to her as our new cocker spaniel, although no one really believed this, because, of course, cocker spaniels are adorable. I did, however, begin to read to Lisa, and the titles included “The Four Little Pigs” and “The Little Engine That Settled.”
When Lisa turned five, I was faced with an agonizing decision: where could we send her to school? Shockingly, there are no facilities in this country specifically designed for the education of ugly children, except for a few fringe programs dedicated to computers. So we were eventually forced to send her to school in England, where she was extremely popular. But I remained torn— she was an American child, and sooner or later, at least on vacations, she’d have to return home. The solution became obvious: a large box. I’d have the headmistress simply FedEx Lisa to our address, although whenever the package arrived there’d always be that terrible moment when my heart leaped, because I’d think, Someone’s sent me a gift! Perhaps it’s a fully outfitted wicker picnic basket, or a case of champagne! But then I’d hear that sound—the breathing.
I tried to be a generous, loving parent; whenever Lisa clawed at her paper bag I’d murmur, “Oh, but sweetheart, it’s from Hermès.” Still, there were those mornings when she’d want to leave the house in just jeans and a T-shirt, so I’d improvise. I’d say, “When we’re in the park, let’s play a wonderful game. Let’s pretend that I’m a beautiful princess and you’re a bench.” And if strangers stared at us and asked, “Why are you sitting on that poor child and enjoying your lunch?,” I’d defend Lisa, proudly declaring, “She’s not poor!”
Our favorite holiday was, naturally, Halloween. I’d get all gussied up as a lovely ballerina, and Lisa would be my pancreas. We also liked to take long autumn drives through the countryside, to see the leaves change; whenever I’d spot a particularly vibrant red maple or a blaze of yellow, I’d cry, “Look!,” and pause to listen for her delighted knock from the trunk. Malls and other public spaces could still be a challenge, but this was handily solved when I learned to play the concertina and bought Lisa a little felt hat and lederhosen. Still, perhaps it was Lisa’s older sister, Renee, who suffered the most. Renee was stunningly gorgeous, and she always felt the most profound tenderness for the sibling she called her little brother. As a lesson in compassion, I’d say, “Who does Mummy love the most?,” and Renee and Lisa would giddily shriek, “Me! Me!” And then I’d ask, “And who does Mummy pity?”
Despite all of this joy, this infinite maternal concern, I always knew that a dreaded era loomed: puberty. How could I make Lisa understand that, although she was a brilliant, vivacious young lady and the balm of my soul, dating would be impossible, even underwater? But then I hit upon a remedy. For Lisa’s first formal dance, I arranged for her to be escorted by Bobo, an adolescent male grizzly bear. “It’s just like Noah’s ark!” I trilled, as I snapped their photo; Lisa was a bit apprehensive at first, until I pointed out that the arrangement was for only one night, and that they would both be muzzled. I’m pleased to report that the evening was a huge success, thanks to a few open garbage cans, a dab of lard behind Lisa’s ear, and the fact that no one will ever know that I slipped Bobo five hundred dollars and got him drunk.
Blessedly, today Lisa is well over thirty and happily married to Jorge, our houseboy, who now has his green card, a Chelsea duplex, and one of Lisa’s kidneys. And just the other day Lisa said to me, “Mom, it’s really inner beauty that counts, isn’t it? Isn’t that what life’s all about?” I took her face in my hands and I replied, “Yes, of course it is, my darling.” And I smiled, because, thankfully, it’s true—ugly kids will believe anything.
Do you believe in Science?
I mean, I do believe in some science, but I don't really "believe in science."
I don't think it has all the answers.
I think it is profoundly limited.
This science crap only finds answers to the questions we ask, y'know?
That's kinda how testing and experimentation works, after all.
Well, what if we are asking some of the wrong questions?
I think that we are.
I don't think that science has all the answers or even most of them.
Science is bunk, man... it's like the older brother that you looked up to for all this time, but then you find out that he's soooo limited in so many areas... even though he does know what he's talking about in a number of things.
Like, I believe that humans have more than five senses for sure
I have even "empirically tested" this.
People can totally tell when they are being looked at.
When you are in traffic... look at someone.
They will turn and look at you well over 75% of the time.
Even if you are using rearview mirrors and other crap... they'll turn and stare right back at you through one or even two mirrors.
WHERE is THAT in our science books Big Brother!?!
t's not even there.
I bet these scientists might even know about it, but if they can't explain it they don't print it.
There is all that arrogant older brother ego to protect.
It's a sham!
The honeymoon has officially ended. Besides the fact that everything is a little more exciting with a wife, it's back to the normal daily grind of school and work for David. He just left for work and we are not in each other's presence for the first time since we were pronounced husband and wife four days ago.
Things have been almost magical for the last four days. Marriage has been completely different from what I expected. Like turning 18, it's almost anti-climactic how little difference you feel from one day to the next. One day I wasn't married and the next I was, but on both days - David was my best friend and my partner. On both days we loved each other with our all and wanted to see God glorified through our relationship.
The wedding solidified our commitment though and it is so exciting to be going through the stages that follow. Being carried through the threshold at the honeymoon suite, consumating our marriage ending a five year wait, revisiting an old prom date restaurant wearing "Just Married" beach sandals with a suit and an evening formal gown because David had forgotten his shoes - these were all so fun to experience. The honeymoon was such a special time for us because we had not seen each other for almost 6 weeks before the wedding. We talked the days away while walking on the beach, going out to eat, relaxing in the condo, or, a lot of times, even during sex. Our conversation was so special to me. I think that may be the one thing that definitely seems different now. It's so amazing to watch David talk and know that for the rest of my life we will need to sit and share our feelings and emotions and days with each other through conversation. What an integral part of our future! When I sit and listen to him now, I know that it is because I love him and I'm working on our future.
Seeing everyone for the first time after the wedding and being called "The Newlyweds" or "Mr. and Mrs. David Martin" was so refreshing. We went to change my name this morning, but without much success since we won't receive a certified marriage certificate for 10-14 business days. David is cherishing his moments with me and was extremely happy to wake up to "this beautiful woman" laying next to him this morning. (Every other morning we've woken up in a room with shutters that darkened the room, so today was actually the first morning he could see my face when he rolled over.) When we go out he takes my hand wherever we are and hardly lets go, giving me a strong sense of protection. He's been careful to constantly refer to things that used to be his and mine as "ours", like our cars or the apartment. His attitude has been so impressive and I hope that I can encourage it just enough to maintain it!
We have a lot of work to do on getting settled into this place, but it's exciting for me to have the opportunity to impress my new husband with my ability to organize and conquer a disaster such as the current state of our (!!!) apartment. Tonight, after he left for work I wandered from room to room, trying to begin an organizational scheme for the clutter. This was quite difficult since most of his stuff is still in boxes, except for what he's pulled out in a hurried frenzy of looking for something. Also most of our furniture is still at my old apartment in Gainesville and it cannot be moved here until August when I graduate. I wandered into each room about five times before I decided to let that all sit for tonight and work on all my other assignments for the night: getting this first blog of mine done, catching up on our sex journal (my wedding gift to David), studying Organic for at least 30 minutes, finding a Publix to shop at, and then attempting homemade pizza for the first time. David has said he doesn't like homemade pizza except for my sister's, so I'm going to try to achieve his high standards. Yikes... lots to do...
I suppose I can stop writing since this is definitely my most successful blog yet!
(: I'm going to post this... I hope David is ok with everthing in here.
Welcome to my life, fellow "David's Blog" readers!
Now to regale you with tales from my Bachelor party...
OK, so after the wedding rehearsal, the guys quickly changed in the church said their goodbyes to their ladies, and were off to Fort Myers Beach. We chartered a deep-sea fishing boat and went out about an hour's boating distance into the gulf to go fishing. We got pretty cool views of Fort Myers Beach, Sanibel and other places on the way out, and that was cool.
OK, so it's 3AM now. I am tired! So, I am going to sleep. I guess the rest of this bachelor party story will have to be told on another day.
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Wow, I just realized that this reverse chronological order thing works really well for the way that my blog is set up. Y'all will be able to read it in chronological order after all!
The last post was getting kinda long, so I thought that any discussion about the rehearsal dinner should get it's own entry... so, here goes...
Tonight we had a rehearsal dinner at The Veranda in downtown Fort Myers. This was pretty sweet, because it was the location that I had selected for my first prom with Joy. It is also cool, because neither Joy nor I had ever been to The Veranda except for that one time, together, right before our first prom.
So, we arrive... late, and Joy is about ready to cry. She had suprised me with her presence at my house at a quarter to seven when the dinner was at 7PM. (I'll give more back story about this in the next entry. Reverse chronological order here, people.) I had just finished getting dressed and she knocks on my bedroom door. "Can I come in?" She says sweetly. 'Actually, move out, because I'm ready to go.' "OK, I guess that means 'let's go, dear. I'm ready.' " She pleasantly reinterprets. After this little exchange we walk down the hallway, through the kitchen, and arrive in the front room, but no one is around except Tami and she waiting on Mark and her two boys.
So, Joy let's me know that she's going with me. (This is a total shock to me) I let her know that I told Eric that I could give him a ride as I am putting on my shoes. She then tells me to call Eric and ask him if he can drive himself. Uhhh... OK. Anyway, this story is getting way to long. Basically, I am shocked and not feeling so good about the situation, plus I forgot something my mom asked me to bring. So, I was "Quiet" on the car ride to the restaurant. Joy is too, but I know her quiet isn't as comfortable for her as mine is for me. So, I apologize for the uncomfortable quiet and begin to explain. This only makes her feel sad (she's incredibly sleep deprived at this point, remember.) I try to fix it some more -- marginal success. Finally, we're walking up to the restaurant... I tell her that I had made a few mistakes, I was unsettled by her presence and the Eric situation, and that I was sorry. Then I kissed her like she likes, until she finally is smiling a little and reminds me that I get away with everything and that its not fair how I just fix stuff with those kisses.
OK, seconds later I look up and see Joy's older brother. This is odd and very out of place, because he is definately not supposed to be here (in my mind or in Joy's) Joy figures out what is going on isntantly and begins to cry. This confuses me, because I'm a guy and well... I can only intuit so much, right? Anyway, we're waved over, so Joy is dealing with the tears situation and we walk into the restaurant trying to find Karl who had completely disappeared. Finally, we get up into this hideaway second floor diningroom area and there are like 30-40 people standing around waiting for us. Also, Jenn Mueller (Karl's wife) is there. She is eight months pregnant. She wasn't supposed to come. I guess love and determination can carry people to crazy acts of love though. Joy broke. Tears were streaming. Everyone was happy.
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Yeah, so... we're back at the dinner. I was hungry -- it was 8PM. I went and stood at my plate, and that signaled everyone else, slowly. A few announcements were made about our dinner selection (not vegan friendly at all.) There was this awesome brochure/menu/announcement/evening program thing at each plate. This thing was pretty cool indeed. Michelle and my mom put it together. Each one had these little gold tassels acting as bookmarks to the menu page. Also, every plate had a little table tent with the person's on it... raised ink, calligraphy... it was tight.
The menu was neat too. Everyone got the same salad and bread, but that was listed on the menu announcement (MA) nonetheless. Then each person could choose one of three entrees, which were completely described in the MA. After that section there was also a listing of the three dessert choices. I had chicken marsala and Joy had the filet mignon. We both got the same dessert, but I already forget what that thing was. All I know is that it was awesome and I hadn't had anything like it before. (I have the MA thing though... I'll look it up at some point and fill this in.)
At the end of the dinner, my brother, Toby -- who is my best man, got up and made gave toast/speech/story thing. It was pretty cool. Everyone liked it a lot, and it made me nervous as anything. The whole thing was about this running family joke that started when I was roughly eight. The joke was something I said to Toby that my mom and Toby thought was cute so they'd just say it to each other for a few years. Finally, I started to join in too. Anyway, Toby presented me with a box of Dots (Tootsie Roll's product) and he had made sure that all the Dots in the box were red... to go with the running joke, but turn it on its head. The joke had been "Toby gets all the red dots!" meaning Toby is one lucky SOB. However, Toby proceeded to make a few points. 1) Now look who is the lucky one. 2) A lot of times you have to work at things to make your own luck and stack the deck in your favor. 3) That work can pay off, but people will still say you just got lucky.
My Dad, Joy's Dad, and the Matron of Honor, Joy's 'sister' also gave toasts. I don't really remember the Dad's toasts, perhaps because they didn't have stong thematic messages. Paulette's toast was really touching though. She fought off tears (which I like) and managed to say good things about Joy and that she was really happy that I was marrying her. (After all, Paulette had talked Joy into "keeping this one" early on in the relationship -- when I was going off to college.)
After all this I presented the groomsmen with their gifts, which were these aluminum cases that held 300 poker 11.5g poker chips, two decks of cards, a dealer chip, and five red dice. They were tight (if I may say so) and each weighed 18.5lbs. (I know this because shipping is annoyingly expensive.) I think that most of them were happy with it. My brother, Steve, even smiled (this is rare) and asked if there was a pair of handguns in the cases. So, he was a little disappointed, but everyone else was happy -- especially CJ's wife (she's into poker and really good. Joy and I had played with CJ and her on a double date/weekender in Naples and in Gainesville.)
Yeah, so that sums up the Rehearsal dinner. I had happened upon this spot just outside the door of our private dining area and was getting hugs and handshakes from all the guests for a while. Then Joy caught my act and thought it was a good idea, so she stood next to me and we got well wishes from everyone and thanked them all for coming. All in all it was a really great night. Oh, and at the end, Mere (Joy's mom) drove back to my house with Joy and I to get Joy's car (because Joy was really tired and sleep-deprived) and that was fun for her and us because it was, as Mere had excitedly called it, our last night of being chaperoned. (sp?)
Today is my wedding! I am really excited about the whole thing. Unforunately, I can't sleep yet. This isn't so good, but it's not so terrible either, because I still need to finish my vows, work on my reception toast and maybe pack for the honeymoon... all things that can be done with late night nervous energy, instead of tomorrow (I don't work so well during the day anyway, right?)
The funny thing about this is that I had been pretty persistant to Joy and her mom tonight about making sure Joy got enough sleep tonight. She was in bed by 1:00 -- 1:30 AM, but not me... I was calling over there to see how she was doing and to tell her that I was worried about her dad. He seemed kinda down today, and I bet he is pretty struck by the fact that is one daughter is really moving on and all those things that Dad's feel when they say goodbye to their precious daughters.
So, I called to see if Joy was asleep yet (she wasn't) and to tell her to say some reassuring things to her Dad. She's been so busy lately, I bet that she hasn't had time to give him much attention at all. Besides, a word or two like "I'll always be your daughter, Pere" or "Y'know, I love you, Pere, and I really appreciate all you've done for me." could go a long way toward cheering a guy up. Hopefully she makes a chance for herself to say some of these things tomorrow morning.
On another note...
I spent some time talking to Shavon tonight going over good times. There were so many nights when I'd talk about this girl or that girl during High School; I just had to reminisce a little and be excited with her. Also, she let me know that she used the search feature on this blog and didn't find her name or the names of many other of my friends from High School. The thing with that though, is that I decided that I wouldn't mention people by name unless I had permission from them to do so (or if I didn't like them enough to care that I don't have persmission.) I know who I am thinking about in my vague references, after all.
Before I talked with Shavon, I spent about a half an hour planning my pre-wedding wedding day with my sister and her husband. That was a ton of fun. We talked about all kinds of things like kids, my brothers, my mom, them, sex, and other jokes. Those two are so much fun! I really like that Joy likes and loves them a lot too, because I like spending time with them. It's really fun talking to them about sex too, because my sister is all fun and comfortable when she talks about it, but when I chip in something (and most know that I can throw a choice word or two down when it comes to talking about sex) it shocks her and seems to make her uncomfortable. (She's the big sister after all, so she kinda likes to think of me as the kid-brother -- meaning pure, innocent and no sex talk!) Yeah, so... her husband thinks I'm funny sometimes and he's good at chipping in his own commentary, and after like two or three one liners we're in deep and Tami's laughing, but kinda uncomfortable all at the same time. This is great stuff, for me. lol.